College Organizations Networking Now Each Creating Ties (CONNECT):

Ruth Ashley

CONNECT Links:

Communities of Power Links:

Reflections: Experience and Growth as an Intern for CONNECT
By Ruth Ashley

The internship with CONNECT this summer has been an amazing experience. The work that we have been doing is constantly pushing me to the edge of my comfort zone and beyond. This summer I frequently had to face my fears, get comfortable with them and then face bigger fears. To succeed as a CONNECT intern I constantly had to find new and different ways to conquer problems. I have had the opportunity to develop new skills, and a new sense of self. I have gained new tools, formed new ideas, and had new experiences. While gaining this personal insight and knowledge I was also able to make a difference for others.

This summer I have seen myself continuously facing my fears and overcoming them. All of the aspects of contact that I had with the coordinators scared me; from the initial phone call till the follow up e-mails and thank you notes. I was extremely nervous at my first meeting. When I went in and talked to the coordinator my stomach was tied in knots, I was shaky, and I felt that I might get sick. That first meeting went well and the next time I have felt less nervous. With each meeting I found that I became less and less nervous. Even thought I still get nervous, I no longer feel that I am going to be sick. I now worry less that I am going to have a meeting and that I will do such a lousy job explaining CONNECT that they will not want to be a part of it. 

An additional fear I had to face and overcome was about giving presentations. In addition to the presentations I did for coordinators I also gave, with Shana, four presentations over the course of two days, to students with disabilities and their parents at an orientation. I did the presentations and each time I got better at presenting. Looking back at the time spent preparing for the presentation I notice that my anxiety only made it hard to prepare and present. I would get so nervous about doing it wrong that instead of focusing on how to do it well I focused on how to get out of it. After the first presentation I relaxed and things went smoother. Strangely I had more anxiety presenting for my colleagues than the students.

I am confident that the new skills I acquired during this internship will increase my resume when I apply for jobs. I feel significantly better prepared for the variety of tasks and responsibilities that my future jobs will include such as: problem solving skills, making cold calls, and getting people to be willing to meet with me. This job has also allowed me a level of responsibility and freedom that is unheard of in an internship. Most people my age have not had the opportunity to learn these valuable skills or have as much freedom as I was given, so when I turn in my resume I have something that will make it stand out.

This internship has been a fabulous opportunity that not only has helped increase my resume and prepare me for my future, but it has also been an opportunity to be part of something amazing. Years from now when CONNECT has taken off and is integrated into schools, CILs, and other community resources I can look at what it is doing and I will know that I helped start that. I believe that CONNECT is such a beneficial idea that years from now, when I am living in Illinois, I will hear about the Illinois CONNECT program and all of the great things that it has accomplished. The feeling that you are helping to start something as valuable as CONNECT is a terrific feeling. I have been able to be part of spreading disability pride and knowledge of the disability community.

The concept of the disability community was new to many people who I met during the internship, but it was not a new idea to me. Growing up my father worked for ADAPT Inc. ADAPT provides community and sheltered employment, day activities, psycho-social rehabilitation, group homes, independent living apartments, and other supports to help people with developmental disabilities and chronic mental illness lead more satisfying, independent and productive life. Throughout the years he would take me to his office picnics and dances; it was at these events I was able to learn from a young age about the disability community. This was however, something that I was always on the outside of; through this internship I was able to become an ally for the disability community, for the first time be a part of the community.

There is an amazing difference between knowing that a community exists and being a part of it. I never realized that psychological disorders were emotional disabilities. Now that I have been told about this concept I realize it makes complete sense and it even seems strange that it had no occurred to me earlier. Microsoft Encarta’s dictionary defines disability as, “a restricted capability to perform particular activities.” After reading this definition I thought that it would be valuable to compare what the DSM-IV said about a variety of disorders. When looking at the descriptions I noticed one phrase that kept turning up, “marked impairment in social or occupational functioning”. Though worded differently, this description means the same thing that the definition of disability means.

I hope to one day become a clinical psychologist; I would like to work with people who have severe disorders. The knowledge base that I have gained from this experience will not only help me get in to my desired field but will also help me be successful when I get there. I wish to help people learn about their disabilities so they can take that knowledge and empower them to learn how to live with it, and become members of society where your disability doesn’t fully define you. I want people to understand and get beyond it; for people to be able to face, accept and over come their disorders they need to understand them. Having another way to explain the problems that they are facing would help people comprehend what is happening to them. Being able to help them become a member of the disability community may help people with a psychological diagnosis feel less alone and relieve the social stigma that come with it.

It has never bothered me that I am diagnosed as bipolar; however, the idea that I might need to be in counseling or take medication has always bothered me. Many times since I received my diagnosis I have stopped taking my medication, I always thought that if I worked harder I could control it myself and it would make me stronger. While I would still like to not need the medication or the counseling, I have come to see through the environment of this internship that when I do need supports that doesn’t make me weak. In fact, being able to admit that I need help is a sign of strength. In recognizing that I can not do it always on my own and that I know what I need to make my life work I am able to take control of the presenting problems and overcome them. That ability to overcome my obstacles rather then avoid them is what actually makes me stronger.

I am truly grateful for the chance to be involved in CONNECT; my experience has been a growing opportunity for me. I have learned so much that will make me better prepared for the future and I feel as if I have been able to help start something terrific. Through this experience I have developed a greater understanding of disabilities; I will take this knowledge and the skills that I have learned while working for CONNECT into my future, and internalize it, so that it will better help me in treating my clients as a psychologist. I have had a great time working for CONNECT and I am appreciative that I had such a supportive team. I will miss working with all of you and wish you all the best of luck.

Go back to the top of this page.

Search This Site and Communities of Power: