Brought to You by Connections for Community Leadership and Michigan Disability Rights Coalition (MDRC) with funding from the Michigan Developmental Disabilities Council (MDDC) We Lead! 2.0 An inclusive leadership development curriculum for participants with and without disabilities Many of the exercises in this curriculum were borrowed from the 2003 Y.E.I.L.D. curriculum of Access Living of Metropolitan Chicago (a youth leadership and organizing program), the “Yes I Can” curriculum of the University of Minnesota, and the http://www.wilderdom.com/games Wilderdom website. Table of Contents Welcome to the We Lead! Curriculum We Lead! Philosophy We Lead! Goals We Lead! Program Overview Theme for Week One: Inclusion and Self Exploration Theme for Week Two: Identify and Build Leadership Skills Theme for Week Three: Leadership in Action and Reflection Lets Begin! Where Will It Take Place? Who Will Staff The Program? Staffing a Youth Program Recruiting Participants Recruiting Speakers Preparing for the Program Community Service Organizations Field Trips Speakers T-Shirts Participant Contracts Permission Slips Accessibility Week One: Inclusion and Self Exploration Week Two: Leadership in Action Week Three: Being a Leader Appendix 1: Forms Invitation Letter Permission Form Participant Emergency Information Form Participant Contract Parent Evaluation of We Lead! Youth Evaluation of We Lead! Example of the logo of the first “We Lead!” project Appendix 2: Lesson Handouts, Exercises, and Games Descriptor and Gesture Name Game Paired Sharing Big Wind Blows Fear in a Hat HA HA Helium Stick Game Animal Sounds 2 Truths & A Lie To Tell the Truth (A variation on 2 Truths & a Lie) SCREAM! Leadership Connection Game Inclusion Role Play The Label game Decorating Your Bag of Individuality How Teams Succeed or Fail Leadership Characteristics Activity Working in Groups: Story # 1 The Star Thrower Mine Field Interview Sheet Find Someone Who… Who’s Like You? Death in the Desert Game Leadership Compass Communication Blocks to Communication and Trust-Building Listening Exercise # 1: How to Be a Good Listener Expressions of Emotions Exercise Practice in Non-verbal Communication How to Develop “I” Messages “You” and “I’ Messages Passive, Assertive, and Aggressive Scenarios Group Juggle Broken Squares Back to Back Appendix 3 Staff Preparation Tips Suggested Field Trips Materials to have on hand Tasks to Arrange before the Program Tips and Ideas Expectations of Participants Request to Disability Leader Guest Speaker Request to Community Organization/Issue Speaker Service Project Planning Welcome to the We Lead! Curriculum The We Lead! curriculum is designed to offer participants (with and without disabilities) practical experience in becoming a leader. We Lead offers participants information about disability history, disability pride, awareness of personal talent, and leadership skills. We Lead! also serves as a laboratory where, working together, participants use what they have learned to identify, design, and deliver a community service project. We Lead! Philosophy Gaining any skill takes practice, and leadership development is no different. Any person in a position of leadership has gained skills from their life experience, usually while working with others. Whether it is in a family, at school, at work, or in the community, those of us who take on leadership have had practice. We Lead! draws from evidence-based practice that tells us leadership skills emerge from application. Our curriculum is based on an active learning model. Our curriculum addresses the skills, knowledge, and attitudes necessary to provide people (with and without disabilities) with practical experience that they may use as they become leaders within the disability rights movement and/or within generic community environments. The greatest challenge to those who staff this curriculum is to establish an environment in which the expectation is that participants assume leadership. The success of the outcome of the curriculum is measured by the number of decisions made, relationships developed, and problems solved by the participants rather than what the t-shirts look like or whether the community project was pulled off with grace. It takes a leap of faith and a great deal of self-discipline of the staff to understand the difference between a facilitator and a teacher. The curriculum will develop the skills, the facilitator will create the environment. We Lead! Goals The goal of We Lead! is to develop new leaders. We Lead! Creates a safe environment that provides each participant with the opportunity to practice skills where they see themselves as competent and active members of their community. Participants explore their natural leadership gifts, gain new insight into their own ability, identify new skills to improve their leadership, and recognize and support different leadership styles in their peers. Participants will actively use their leadership skills. They will know how to work with others toward a common goal as well as communicate with established leaders in their communities, with the media and the general public. They will identify and articulate their personal vision of a just society. The flow of the We Lead! program is evidenced by the percent of leadership assumed by facilitator-staff and participants throughout the planning and implementation of We Lead!. Program staff make 100% of the program decisions before the participants arrive (site, recruitment, purchase of materials, etc.). As the program begins, facilitators set the agenda and the daily activities. Each week, participants are expected to assume more responsibility for planning activities and program decisions. During the final week, where the community service project is delivered and the celebration is planned, participants actively drive the activities and make decisions while facilitators follow directions, track details, and frame problems to be solved. We Lead! Program Overview We Lead! is designed as a three week program (some groups may want to expand to four weeks) that meets with participants four days a week for five hours a day, including lunch. An additional day each week is suggested for staff preparation. We suggest the program meets from 10:00am to 3:00pm, but you may have to work around public transportation schedules. Theme for Week One: Inclusion and Self Exploration Participants engage in activities to build relationships and form a community. The activities for the week combine disability-specific information with leadership and interpersonal skill building. During this week the facilitators slowly step back and offer the participants opportunities to lead the curriculum. Facilitator leadership 70%, participant leadership 30% Theme for Week Two: Identify and Build Leadership Skills Participants engage in activities to develop their leadership skills, build their self-esteem, develop trust with on another, explore their community, and learn how to put an idea into action. Participants will also begin planning their leadership project. Facilitator leadership 50%, participant leadership 50% Theme for Week Three: Leadership in Action and Reflection Participants finish the planning of their community service project and take the necessary steps to put their ideas to action. The participants will participate in their project and be active leaders in their communities. After the project has finished, participants will participate in activities to reflect on their experiences. Facilitator leadership 10%, participant leadership 90% Lets Begin! There are many things to think about when planning a program. Where will it take place? Who will be the facilitators? How will we recruit participants? How will we ensure full inclusion for all participants? What do I have to do to protect participants and the program? Where Will It Take Place? The most important factor in looking for a facility is to be sure it is accessible. Some questions to ask are: Is the building wheelchair accessible? Do the doors have automatic openers? Can the bathrooms be used independently? Is the location near a public transportation stop? Do we need to accommodate participants who are visually impaired or deaf? The meeting room should be flexible. Can all participants meet around a table? Is there room to form small work groups? Is there space to spread out and play active games? Is there shady grass outside to relax on? Is there space to enjoy your lunch? Is there open space to hold a private conversation? Is there audio visual technology available? Who Will Staff The Program? Your staff may include paid and volunteer staff. The number will depend on the size and composition of your participant group. You will need more staff when working with youth or people with more complex disabilities. Whether you work with youth or adults we suggest a minimum of two staff. In a program like this you need partners to discuss the progression and outcome of the activities. When looking for facilitators it would be helpful to find people that have disabilities themselves, or who know about the disability rights movement. You want a facilitator that understands the goals of the program, is willing to hand over control of the activities to the participants, and is committed to an inclusive and empowering environment for participants with and without disabilities. Look for people who have experience working with youth. We recommend that you schedule an orientation day for staff and volunteers to during which you focus on creation of a shared understanding of expectations. During this day solicit ideas from the facilitators. Discover their talents or experience that would be helpful to the program. We Lead! curriculum is designed to be flexible and to meet the specific composition of your group. We want to hear of your adjustments so we might learn from your experience and make the We Lead! curriculum better. Staffing a Youth Program Because of the climate in which we find ourselves, we encourage you to talk with other youth programs in your community about background checks on all facilitators and volunteers. Protect the program and your reputation by never having one adult meet with a youth in private. If it is necessary to have private conversations with a youth make sure it occurs within sight of another staff person. It is essential that you have more than one facilitator and have at least one of each gender. There will be times when you will specifically need either a female or male to help a participant. Example: A young man that hides out in the male restroom would need a male to enter the restroom and another participant to accompany him. Recruiting Participants If you plan to use We Lead! in the summer, start your marketing and recruitment in April and May. To recruit people with disabilities target schools, your local Disability Network (Center for Independent Living) affiliate, ARC, or RICC. To recruit people without disabilities community look at groups interested in developing a leadership program - local scout programs, neighborhood community centers, churches, or, for adults, Chamber of Commerce and the local extension service. There is a sample invitation letter in Appendix I, p. 24). We Lead! strives to be all inclusive – participants should vary by disability, gender, race, sexual orientation and other types of community diversity. Contact local groups that represent these diverse communities. Recruiting Speakers The We Lead! program uses local community people to bring information to the participants by inviting guests to speak to participants. Speakers are used during the first week to explore the history and culture of the disability rights movement. Throughout the first and second week speakers from local organizations who may anchor the community service project are invited to present information about their group. Throughout the written curriculum we have indicated specific days that, in our experience, a speaker would have the most impact. Preparing for the Program The adult learning theory that We Lead! uses says that the main work of the teacher, or in our case facilitator, happens before the participants arrive. We have already talked about a site, recruiting staff, recruiting participants and recruiting speakers. Below we discuss additional details that should be arranged before the participants arrive. Community Service Organizations Although we expect the participants to identify the issue and program for their community service project the staff can identify community organizations that work on specific issues. The staff may also contact those organizations to see if someone may be available during the first days of the program. Field Trips The We Lead! curriculum encourages you to experiment with your own ideas and adjust the curriculum to meet the needs of the individuals in your program. Although we have filled the days with activities we also encourage you to arrange, before the participants arrive, one or two field trips during the program. The scheduling of these events will often depend on the availability of the programs you are visiting and/or the unique make-up and needs of your participants. Some programs have planned an outing to a rope course during the first week. It is an excellent way for participants to get to know one another and to begin developing community trust. Others have toured a local college campus, still others make a site visit to an organization that may be chosen for the community service project. Speakers The curriculum has a significant emphasis on learning about disability pride and history. Speakers from the disability rights community should be scheduled before the participants arrive. Speakers may be found at your local Disability Network organization (Center for Independent Living), a college disability office, or a statewide disability advocacy organization. As much as possible speakers should be people with disabilities. T-Shirts The participants must have the T-shirt to wear when they are working in the community. Thus the design and production of the T-shirt has a very short turnaround. The design of the t-shirt and interaction with the printing company is a participant activity. Before the program begins staff should identify the printing company to use. The company can then put this job on its schedule. That pre-arranged schedule will determine the deadline for the t-shirt design committee. Although the arrangements have been made, once the design is chosen the participants are the ones to communicate with the t-shirt company. Participant Contracts We Lead! strongly encourages local sites to offer stipends to participants who fully participate in the program. At the end of the orientation ask participants to sign a contract (Appendix I p. 27) that spells out terms of completion. After fulfilling the terms to fully participate in the program, participants will receive a T-shirt and a $100 stipend. Permission Slips If you are sponsoring We Lead! as a youth program all participants must have a permission slip signed by a parent or guardian that allows participation (Appendix I p.25). The slip should include: n emergency contact if the youth should need immediate care A copy of the participant’s health care card in case of emergency. Make this information available in a central location for staff and volunteer access. Accessibility Earlier we spoke of choosing an accessible site. We recognize that the activities in the We Lead! curriculum may have to be adjusted to meet the accessibility needs of your participants. Example: If you know there are youth that have a particularly difficult time reading (such as some youth with learning disabilities or youth who are blind/have visual impairments), be sure they have adequate support such as a reader. Or, if there is reading in the activity ask those who are comfortable with reading to read out loud. Make sure that each reader only reads for a paragraph and that everyone has an opportunity to either read or decline from reading. Week One: Inclusion and Self Exploration Goal for the Week: Identify the Community Service Project Issue Day One: Participants and Parents become familiar with the program and with to each other Words of the Day: Discipline and Clarity (Appendix 2 p. 67) Parent and Participant Orientation Welcome Introduction of Staff: Make it Fun! Do a skit. Have the staff introduce themselves as a type of shoe and why. Pass out a We Lead! program calendar - to each parent and participant Review philosophy and goals of We Lead! Clarify expectations of participants Behavior Contract Consequences Excuse participants for their orientation. (Lead staff person remains with adults while other staff and volunteers move with youth to another room to start the day’s activities) Continue with Parent Orientation Discussion on developing youth leadership by encouraging participants to assume the responsibilities of young adults. Suggest ways parents can support the program goals in the home. Review Paperwork Contact information Insurance information Media and Picture permission slips Program / Staff contact info Describe what they might expect if an emergency arises Invite parent’s questions and concerns Continue with Participant Orientation Introduce Word of the day Descriptor and Gesture Name Game (Appendix II p. 33 ) Break (Lunch?) Establish Community Guidelines Group discusses guidelines of how they will behave during the three week term “What will make We Lead! a safe place for all of us?(Guidelines become central to the contract participants sign on second day) Guidelines are posted on flip chart that all participants sign. Chart is prominently posted and can be referred to throughout the 3 week term Importance of Communication (Appendix II p. 93) Day Two: Building Community Participants continue to build relationships & learn the importance of inclusive community Words of the day: Approachability, Knowledge Activity: Introduction interview We all have talents & we all need help (Appendix II p. 75) Introduce the We Lead! T-shirt Everyone who fully participates in the program will receive a T-shirt. The T-shirts will be worn on the days we are working in the community. They will make participants visible as they represent the We Lead! program. Ask for volunteers to serve on a committee to design the We Lead! logo and order the shirts. Review the commitment to We Lead! Each person must fully participate to receive the $100 stipend and the T-shirt. View and discuss the video: “Ten Commandments” Copies of this video may be borrowed from: MI. Youth Leadership Forum Bill Milzarski, Esq. MI. Commission on Disability Concerns 517-335-6399 Milzarskiw@michigan.gov Connections for Community Leadership (CCL) MI. Disability Rights Coalition Theresa Christmas 5178-333-2477 x 315 TChirstmas@prosynergy.org Suggested Questions for Discussion Do we let labels define us? How do labels make us feel? Introduce and practice positive self talk - Turning the negative to positive Following the video and the discussion use one or both of the following activities: Inclusion Role Play (Appendix II p. 55) Label Game (Appendix II p. 57) Invited Speaker? The first of many existing leaders with a disability speak to the group about their own story and relate it to disability pride. Community Service Project Begin a discussion of planning a community service project. The questions listed below are suggestions only. Define community & ask what they know of community service projects? How do the participants receive from the community? How might they want to give back to the community? Break in to groups of 3-4 Each person identifies the issues of interest to them. The small group chooses one to bring back to the group. In the large group have each group present their issue. The large group chooses 2-3 issues. Who in the community is working on these concerns? What kind of service project might We Lead! do with them? Day Three: What is Leadership? Continue getting acquainted. Introduce leadership traits. Word of day: Humility and Competence Activity: Leadership Connection Game (Appendix II p. 53) Discussion Questions Who are leaders? What traits do leaders have? What traits do I have? Self-Reflection: Who are You? Make a list of the words that describe you (honest, shy, loud, etc.) List the words you think you would hear if you had a cloak of invisibility and were listening to what other people would say about you. Do you match your words? What have you done that shows you are those words? What do you still need to do to be the words you want to be? Leadership Styles Just as each of us learns in different ways, each of us can lead in different ways. As our world and communities have changed, we have learned that the old style of top down leadership simply doesn’t work in all situations. In many places leadership is collaborative. To work in collaboration, you need people with a variety of skills, because variety creates the best whole. Activity: The Leadership Compass (Appendix II p. 83) Community Service Project Participants practice a role play that practices making the contact calls. Identify a volunteer to contact the organizations identified yesterday to arrange for someone to speak with We Lead! participants. Try scheduling one group for each of the next 3-4 days. Activity: Alternative Learn to independently ride public transportation Leaders are busy people who often serve are multiple committees and are involved in multiple projects. The ability to independently navigate the transportation system is not only practical, but will build self-confidence and self-esteem. Day Four: Becoming a Team Participants grow their trust in each other and recognize how individual gifts and talents strengthen the team Words of the day: Charisma and Direction 2nd Guest speaker Leader with Disability Subject: Disability Pride & History (Call either your local CIL or MDRC for suggestions) Activity: Decorating Your Bag of Individuality (Appendix II p. 63) Community Service Project Either participants continue to contact organizations to arrange for someone to speak with We Lead! participants, or an invited speaker from an organization meets with the participants. After the representative leaves participants should discuss the possibilities and challenges of the proposed service project. Activity: Building trust and using communication Mine Field Game (Appendix II p. 73) Discussion questions: What made this task difficult? Which was easier: the first try or the second try? What did you and your partner do to get the goal done? What did you learn? Committee Report T-shirt committee brings logo ideas to large group for decision. Coach individuals to give positive feedback. First what they like about the design and proposed changes that begin with “what about…” Week Two: Leadership in Action Goal for the Week: Planning the community service project Day One: Power of Working Together Participants recognize the power of leadership in action. Start brainstorming issues in their own communities Words of the Day: Conviction and Decisiveness Activity: “The Star Thrower” (Appendix II p. 71) Read aloud and discuss the story that represents what one person can do to make the world a better place. The discussion speaks to what might be possible if a group of people work together. Discussion Questions: What would have happened if it had been not one but many youth picking up the starfish? What do you imagine would be the impact of many working together? Is this boy a leader? Why or why not? How does this story relate to our community service project? Community Service Project Host a speaker from a community organization After the representative leaves participants should discuss the possibilities and challenges of the proposed service project. Activity: Fear in a Hat (Appendix II p. 39) Set the tone by introducing the topic of fear. Explain how it is normal and natural at this stage of the program that people are experiencing all sorts of anxieties, worries and fears about making decisions and organizing a community project. (This activity can be adopted to be used whenever the team has an issue) Activity: How Teams Succeed or Fail (Appendix II p. 65) Connect these characteristics to the community guidelines created the first day. How are we developing as a team? When have we seen the Succeed characteristics in We Lead? Have there been times in this community that we have participated in the Fail characteristic? Do we want to check into our own habits and make any changes? Day Two: Continued Focus on Building Leadership Skills Group increases confidence in their self-esteem and self-confidence Words of the Day: Review – See Activity Below Activity: Leadership Characteristics (Appendix II p. 67) The purpose of this activity is to boost the youth participants’ confidence in their own ability as advocates and organizers. We can give them praise and compliments regularly, but it can be just as, if not more meaningful, coming from a peer. Prepare for the session by writing all participant names on pieces of paper and place in hat. (this is a We Lead! adjustment from the directions you will find in the appendix). Put the leadership characteristics on one side of the card stock. On the reverse side, print the definition of the characteristic. During the session: Review the words of the day. Ask participants to define the words. After the review, each participant randomly picks the name of another participant. After reviewing the characteristics, ask each to choose one characteristic that stands out in their minds when they think of the person whose name they drew. Encourage participants to think about why that quality will help the group when they plan their community service project. Community Service Project In the large group review the three possible issues for the service project. Have the champions of each idea plan and produce a commercial skit for their issue. Make a group decision. Introduce service activity planning process (Appendix III p.134) Determine if you want to arrange a site visit (At end of the day ask for a pair of volunteers to lead tomorrow’s morning game.) Day Three: Practice, Practice, Practice. Word of the Day: Review Staff works with yesterday’s volunteers to shift the Word of the Day from introduction of a new word to a review of all the words. What do the words mean? Offer an example of a word in action by a participant in the We Lead! program. Identify another participant to lead this review tomorrow morning (and each day afterward.) Community Service Project Follow the service activity planning process planning (Appendix III p.134) In large group go through service planning process. Identify sub-committees to work on various aspects of the plan. Sub-committees gather to work on their tasks. Make a work plan. Identify individual responsibilities. Establish due dates. Work in minute detail. Finish each planning day with a group meeting reporting on the progress of each sub-committee. Identify decisions that should be made by the entire group and those that should be made by the sub-committee. Site Visit (if one is to be made) Group Prepares by making a list of information needed and assignments are made. (Identify participant volunteers to lead tomorrow’s word of the day.) Day Four: More Practice… Group is working on final plans for the community service project Word of the day: Participant Lead Individuals identify a word they want to model and why. Community Service Project Large group meeting report committee progress make project related decisions Make site visit Continue sub-committee work Week Three: Being a Leader Goal for the Week: Delivering the Community Service Project Day One: Details Word of the Day: Participant Lead Suggestion: Name places in the project that each leadership word was demonstrated. Final Planning of Project The large group meets to hear the progress of the subcommittees. Those who are finished should offer to help others who are not. The banquet and awards committees are formed from those who have time to contribute. The large group should decide the scope of the banquet (who to Invite – participants only, family members, invited speakers, representatives from the service organization, media, etc.) and charge the committee to move forward with the details. The committee may request assistance at specific points in the activity. Banquet Committee Formed to plan a celebration for the final day. Paper Plate Awards: A committee of participants and staff is organized to recognize the talents and contributions of each member. Each person will receive a paper plate award in a presentation during the banquet. T-Shirts Representatives from the T-shirt Committee pick up and distribute the shirts. Day Two: Details Word of the Day: Participant Lead Plan or deliver project Day Three: Details Word of the Day: Participant Lead Deliver project or plan banquet. Day Four: Details Word of the Day: Participant Lead Banquet & Celebration Appendix 1: Forms Invitation Letter Permission Form Participant Emergency Information Form Participant Contract Parent Evaluation of We Lead! Youth Evaluation of We Lead! Example Logo Invitation Letter Your Logo (date) Dear parents and youth, With summer sunshine comes summer activities and busy days for young people. The (name of your organization) knows that summer can be the perfect time for youth to learn grow and explore. This is why we are pleased to provide a summer leadership development project for youth called WE LEAD (name of your geographic area)! WE LEAD (name of your geographic area)! is an inclusive leadership development project that includes different youth from across (name of your geographic area) in a challenging and informative 3 week project. The leadership project is designed to help youth understand each other, each other’s disabilities, civil rights, their personal leadership potential and the community in which they live. Activities of WE LEAD (name of your geographic area)! include: Goal Setting Leadership style assessment Civil rights and disability history Games Self-esteem building Lunch and Snacks Provided Meeting new teens A leadership service project in (name of your geographic area) And $150.00 for participating!! WE LEAD (name of your geographic area)! Runs from (dates). Sessions are held Tuesday through Friday from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. at (name of site), lunch is included. Those who complete the project will receive $150.00 stipend. If you have any further questions or comments please do not hesitate to contact me at ________ or via email at _________(lead staff contact number and email). Thanks! Signature lead staff Permission Form (Insert your organization’s letterhead here) The signed form below gives my son/daughter permission to participate in the scheduled We Lead (name of your organization)! activities. The named participant/parent below understands that (name of your organization) program are not liable. (Please attach a copy of your youths medical insurance card to this permission form.) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Participant Name:_____________________________________ Parent Signature:____________________________________ Date:_____________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Date of activity: (your dates) Time of activity: 10 a.m. – 3 p.m. Tuesday through Thursday Description of activity: Youth Leadership Development Program Please call with any questions. (lead staff name & contact information) Participant Emergency Information Form Insert your logo Participant Information for We Lead Program Participant Name Home Phone Address Name of Parent/Guardian: Work Phone(s) Cell Phone(s) Address (if different from participant) Home Phone (if different from yours) Someone to contact in case of emergency, if unable to reach parent/guardian: Name Phone Physician’s Name Physician’s Phone Medical Concerns (seizure disorders, diabetes, physical limitations, etc.): Note: Attach copy of medical insurance card to this form Participant Contract Insert your logo We Lead! Participant Contract As a participant in the We Lead! Program I agree that… I will attend the program for four days over a three week period. I will fully participate in all games and activities including discussions and project planning. I will work cooperatively with others. I will treat myself and everyone else in the We Lead! program with the respect due every leader. I will follow decisions that have been made by the group. I will be responsible for the tasks I agree to do for the We Lead! program and the agreed upon community project. I will try out new things knowing that I will have the support of other participants and staff persons. I understand that when I complete the program and have successfully followed the terms of this contract, I will receive a stipend of $___ and a We Lead! T-shirt. Signed: _______________________________________ Name, We Lead! participant _______________________________________ Name, participant Parent Parent Evaluation of We Lead! Insert your logo Parent Evaluation of WE LEAD (NAME OF YOUR GEOGRAPHIC AREA)! What difference did participation in We Lead! make for your youth? What impact was seen in other aspects of the lives of your youth? What improvements would you suggest to the organizers of We Lead! for next year? Other Comments Youth Evaluation of We Lead! Insert your logo Youth Evaluation of WE LEAD (NAME OF YOUR GEOGRAPHIC AREA)! 1.On scale of 1 to 5, how much new information did you learn about disability rights, awareness and history? __1_________2___________3_________4__________5__ Nothing A Little Some Lots Tons! 2.On a scale of 1 to 5, how much new information did you learn about leadership? __1_________2___________3_________4__________5__ Nothing A Little Some Lots Tons! 3.During the first week, what was your favorite part of the program? 4.During the second week, what was your favorite part of the program? 5.During the third week, what was your favorite part of the program? 6.What was your favorite part of the program overall and why? 7.Would you like to participate in WE LEAD (NAME OF YOUR GEOGRAPHIC AREA)! next year? 8.What would you change about WE LEAD (NAME OF YOUR GEOGRAPHIC AREA)!? 9.What advice would you give to next year’s WE LEAD (NAME OF YOUR GEOGRAPHIC AREA)! participants? Example of the logo of the first “We Lead!” project. Your youth are encouraged to create their own logo to be printed on T-shirts. Appendix 2: Lesson Handouts, Exercises, and Games Descriptor and Gesture Name Game Paired Sharing Big Wind Blows Fear in a Hat HA HA Helium Stick Animal Sounds 2 Truths and a Lie To Tell the Truth Scream! Leadership Connection Game Inclusion Role Play The Label Game (background information and history) Decorating Your Bag of Individuality How Teams Succeed or Fail Leadership Characteristics Activity (this relates to words of the day) Working in Groups: Story # 1 - The Star Thrower Mine Field Interview Sheet Finding Someone Who… Who’s Like You? Death in the Desert Leadership Compass Communication Blocks to Communication and Trust-Building Listening Exercise #1 How to Be a Good Listener Expressions of Emotions Exercise Practice in Non-Verbal Communication How to Develop “I” Messages “You” and “I” Messages Passive, Assertive, and Aggressive Scenarios Group Juggle Broken Squares Back to Back Descriptor and Gesture Name Game In a circle one person begins by stepping forward and stating their name with a descriptor word and a gesture. (example: “No, No, Norm shakes his head no). As Norm steps back all repeat “No, no, Norm with the gesture of shaking their heads). The next person steps forward and states their name with a descriptor and a gesture. As they step back all participants say the second persons name with the gesture, followed by the first persons name and gesture. So it continues around the circle, adding each persons name and gesture in turn, until the entire group has repeated every ones name and gesture many times. Paired Sharing A great way to get people talking comfortably to people they don’t know or to raise the level of engagement within a group that does know each other. Supplies: None. Number of people: Works well in small or large groups (12-100). Directions: Ask participants to stand up, move about the room (don’t just turn to the person next to them), and find a partner who they don’t know or who they know the least of anyone else in the room. Once everyone is in pairs (if you have an odd number, one group can be a threesome), the facilitator says: “You will have two minutes to discuss the following topic with your partner...” Ideas for discussion: Find three things you and your partner have in common. Describe for your partner the first job you ever held. What would you do if you won the lottery? What are your most favorite and least favorite things about working for this organization? At the end of two minutes, the facilitator gets the group’s attention and may invite participants to share what they talked about with their partners. Participants are then instructed to find a new partner and told they will be given a new topic. This cycle can be repeated two or three times. Big Wind Blows A fun, moving-around activity that breaks the ice, pumps up the energy, and loosens people up. Supplies: Something to use as a place marker for each individual (a name tag, a napkin, a note card). Number of people: Works well in small or large groups (12-60 people). Directions: Ask participants to form a shoulder-to-shoulder standing circle and then have each person take a step back. Give each participant a place holder which they should place at their feet. The leader takes a place in the center of the circle. The facilitator says: “This activity is similar to the game of musical chairs that you played as a child. As you’ll notice, there is one less place than people in the group. That’s why I’m in the center of the circle. So, I’ll begin in the center of the circle, but my task is to try and find a place on the outside of the circle and have someone else end up without a place. The way I’m going to do that is to make a statement that is TRUE for me. For example, if I am wearing tennis shoes, I might say ‘A big wind blows for everyone who is wearing tennis shoes.’ If that statement is also true for you, then you must come off your place and find another spot in the circle. I could also say something like ‘A big wind blows for everyone who loves to swim,’ and if that’s true for you on the outside of the circle, you must move and find a new place. You may not move immediately to your right or left and you may not move off your space and return to it in the same round. Let’s do this safely. No running. No body-checking, kicking or pinching. OK. I’ll start.” When you think people have had enough, simply say “OK, this is the last round.” Give a round of applause to the last person who ends up in the center. Fear in a Hat Equipment: Paper and pen/pencil per participant; Hat, tin or bag. Time: 5 minutes + 1-2 minutes per participant, e.g., 15-20 minutes for a group of 10. Fear in a Hat Set an appropriate tone, e.g., settled, attentive, caring and serious. The tone could be set by introducing the topic of fear and explaining how it is normal and natural at this stage of program that people are experiencing all sorts of anxieties, worries and fears about what might happen. A good way of starting to deal with these fears is have them openly acknowledged – lay them on the table, without being subject to ridicule. Having one's fears expressed and heard almost immediately cuts them in half. This activity can be done as the first activity in a program, during the initial stages or well into the program. When used early on in particular, it can help to foster group support and be helpful for alerting the group to issues they may want to respect in a Full Value Contract. Ask everyone, including the group leaders, to complete this sentence on a piece of paper (anonymously): "In this trip/group/program, I am [most] afraid that..." or "In this trip/group/program, the worst thing that could happen to me would be..." Collect the pieces of paper, mix them around, then invite each person to a piece of paper and read about someone's fear. One by one, each group member reads out the fear of another group member and elaborates and what he/she feels that person is most afraid of in this group/situation. No one is to comment on what the person says, just listen and move on to the next person. If the reader doesn't elaborate much on the fear, then ask them one or two questions. Avoid implying or showing your opinion as to the fear being expressed, unless the person is disrespecting or completely misunderstanding someone's fear. If the person doesn't elaborate after one or two questions, leave it and move on. When all the fears have been read out and elaborated on, then discuss what people felt and noticed. Can lead into other activities, such as developing a Full Group Contract, personal or team goal settings, course briefings which specifically tackle some of the issues raised, or into other activities in which participants explore their feelings and fears Variations: Likes and dislikes – in two separate hates. Worries, complaints/gripes, wishes, favorite moments. HA HA Short, fun, physically engaging energizer and laughter-generating activity Pick your time, place and group. Works well half-way through a program. Everyone lays down so that their head rests on another person's tummy; the group should all be interconnected by heads and tummies. Set a mock "serious" tone Optional: Eyes closed The challenge is NOT to laugh The other part of the challenge is for the first person to say out loud "Ha!"  The second person says "Ha-ha", and so on The groups tries to see how far the "Ha" gets along the line before someone laughs After a few attempts, this generally descends into a crescendous wave of uncontrollable laughter Equipment: None Important: Be aware of potential body self-consciousness issues, e.g., may not be a comfortable activity for some obese people or a conservative group. Time: ~10 minutes Brief Description: Each person places his head on another person's tummy, so that everyone is connected.  The 1st person says "Ha", then the 2nd person "Ha-ha" and so on.  The goal is to get all the way through the group without anyone laughing; its infectious if someone starts laughing. Helium Stick Game This is a deceptively simple but powerful exercise for participants to learn how to work together and communicate in small to medium sized groups. Directions: Line up in two rows which face each other. Introduce the Helium Stick - a long, thin, light rod. Ask participants to point their index fingers and hold their arms out. Lay the Helium Stick down on their fingers. Get the group to adjust their finger heights until the Helium Stick is horizontal and everyone's index fingers are touching the stick. Explain that the challenge is to lower the Helium Stick to the ground. The catch: Each person's fingers must be in contact with the Helium Stick at all times. Pinching or grabbing the pole in not allowed - it must rest on top of fingers. Reiterate to the group that if anyone's finger is caught not touching the Helium Stick, the task will be restarted. Let the task begin.... Warning: Particularly in the early stages, the Helium Stick has a habit of mysteriously 'floating' up rather than coming down, causing much laughter. A bit of clever humoring can help - e.g., act surprised and ask what are they doing raising the Helium Stick instead of lowering it!  For added drama, jump up and pull it down! Participants may be confused initially about the paradoxical behavior of the Helium Stick. Some groups or individuals (most often larger size groups) after 5 to 10 minutes of trying may be inclined to give up, believing it not to be possible or that it is too hard. The facilitator can offer direct suggestions or suggest the group stops the task, discusses their strategy, and then has another go. Less often, a group may appear to be succeeding too fast.  In response, be particularly vigilant about fingers not touching the pole. Also make sure participants lower the pole all the way onto the ground. You can add further difficulty by adding a large washer to each end of the stick and explain that the washers should not fall off during the exercise, otherwise it's a restart. Eventually the group needs to calm down, concentrate, and very slowly, patiently lower the Helium Stick - easier said than done. How Does it Work? The stick does not contain helium. The secret (keep it to yourself) is that the collective upwards pressure created by everyone's fingers tends to be greater than the weight of the stick. As a result, the more a group tries, the more the stick tends to 'float' upwards. Processing Ideas What was the initial reaction of the group? How well did the group cope with this challenge? What skills did it take to be successful as a group? What creative solutions were suggested and how were they received? What would an outside observer have seen as the strengths and weaknesses of the group? What did each group member learn about him/her self as an individual? What other situations (e.g., at school, home or work) are like the Helium Stick? References Booth Sweeney, L. & D. Meadows (1996). The systems thinking playbook: Exercises to stretch and build learning and systems thinking capabilities. The Turning Point Foundation. Gass, M. A. (1999). Lowering the bar. Ziplines: The Voice for Adventure Education, Summer, 39, 25-27. Gass, M. A. (2001). Lowering the bar. In S. Priest & K. Rohnke (2001) 101 of the best corporate team-building activities. eXperientia. Links to Other Versions •Helium Pole (Teambuilding USA) •Helium Hoop/Stick (Universal Challenge) •Helium Hoop [.doc] (True Gentleman Initiative) Animal Sounds Equipment: Blindfolds (optional) Time: ~10-15 minutes Works with any group size over 10 and with large groups; the more the merrier. Invite people into a circle. Hand out blind-folds and help people to blind fold one another.  Alternatively, ask people to close their eyes. Explain that each person will be hear a whisper of an animal name.  Move around the group, giving each person the name of animal. The challenge will be to find all other animals of one's own kind.  No-one can talk - only animal sounds can be made. (Aim to have 3 or more of each animal). (Note: Consider possible cultural issues if animal sacred or offensive): Very loud chaos ensues, then gradually order and unity emerges as animals find one another. Be prepared to shepherd people from danger, but usually people are very safe with many not moving much, rather focusing on listening and calling out to others. 2 Truths & A Lie Equipment: None. Time: ~15-20 minutes A different kind of get-to-know-you activity which engages and challenges each group member in a fun way Particularly useful as an icebreaker, e.g. can be used as a opener for a workshop/conference. For large groups (e.g., 30+), it is best to split into smaller group sizes. Hand out cards or paper and pens (or if participants bring their own, that's fine) Explain that in this activity each person write two truths and a lie about themselves and then we will try to guess each other's lie.  The goal is to: a) convince others that your lie is truth (and that one of your truths is the lie) and b) to correctly guess other people's lies. Allow approx. ~5+ minutes for writing 2 truths & a lie - this isn't easy for a lot of people - there will some scribbling out, etc.  The slower people will probably need to be urged along to "put anything you can think of" down.  Allocate 5-8 minutes, but you will probably need to urge people along. Announce that we will now walk around and chat to one another, like a cocktail party, and ask about each other's truths and lies.  The goal is to quiz each about each statement to help determine which are the truth and which is the lie, whilst seducing other people into thinking that your own lie is a truth.  At the end we will caste our votes and find out the truth. Emphasize that people should not reveal their lie, even if it seems others might have guessed. Allow min. 10-15 minutes of conversation time. To Tell the Truth (A variation on 2 Truths & a Lie) Equipment: None. Time: 45 minutes or longer if everyone is offered the opportunity to sit on a panel Divide into groups of three. Each group meets privately and share a life story or experience that is both true and unique to yourself. The group chooses one story. By turn (this activity might take a number of days to work through each team) each team returns to the larger group as a panel. The panel begins with each person introducing themselves and stating that the story is true about them. Then, the larger group, by turn, ask questions of individuals on the panel. (Take 5-8 minutes for questions). At the end of the question period the large group votes for who they believe is telling the truth. After the vote the person who “owns” the story reveals themselves. Hint: Individuals on the panel may chose to have outrageous answers that will not be voted for but can be very entertaining, or alternatively be very serious about fooling the audience. SCREAM! This game is very fun and quite challenging for the adult leaders! Problem: Icebreaker, topic stress Solution: Icebreaker, with stress! Activity Instructions: 1.Preparation: Make sure the folks are in the rooms on either side of you. Warn anyone else in the building that they will be hearing some loud yells / screams in a minute, that it will only last for about two-three minutes, and that everything is OK. 2.Have the entire group gather in a circle. (Important: everyone needs to be able to see the eyes of everyone else.) 3.Explain that you will be saying two sets of instructions repeatedly, "heads down" and "heads up." When you say "heads down," everyone looks down. Whey you say "heads up," everyone looks up, STRAIGHT INTO THE EYES of anyone else in the room. Two possible consequences: a.if they are looking at someone who is looking at someone else, nothing happens; b.if they are looking at someone who is looking right back at them, they are both to point in a very exaggerated manner at the other person and let out a SCREAM OR YELL. They are then "out" and take their places together outside of the circle to observe. 4.Once the "screamers" have left the circle, the circle closes in and you repeat step two, followed by step three, until you are down to two people. Yes, they have to do it one more time, even though the outcome is a foregone conclusion. 5.Processing questions: what made this "fun?" [btw: I've never seen this be anything but an absolute hoot for all.] The short answer to the first question is the stress involved. You can then ask them to think about what the actual stress factors in the exercise are (will my scream sound silly? Will I embarrass myself?) and when did the stress seem to lessen or intensify? Leadership Connection Game. Participants sit in an informal circle with one person in the middle. The first person starts by saying “I like to ______”. Any person that likes to do that activity links onto the first person. That person then continues the game by saying “I like to _____”. The group continues till everyone is linked, the last person must call out something that the first person likes to do until a circle is formed. Inclusion Role Play A good leader makes sure everyone is included. Being a member of a team gives all of us opportunity to practice inclusive action. Introduction Bingo – Everyone has talents, everyone needs help. Staff people talk directly with youth and parents to discover unique talents and skills of each youth. (Example: Plays soccer, knows how to wash a car, collects marbles) Staff person creates a “bingo” matrix with each talent or skill in a box. Youth each get a copy of the matrix and has to talk to each other to find out if they have the skill or talent. Person with the skill or talent to writes their initials or name the box. Person with the most correct signatures wins a prize. Role Play Preparation Explain to the participants that they will be performing a role play with the whole group and then discuss it afterwards. 1.Divide participants into two or three equal groups (5-7 members) depending on the size of your program. Tell the participants that they are going to do three role playing situations dealing with the issues of inclusion and exclusion. Ask for one volunteer from each group. Ask the volunteers to leave the room for a few moments. 2.Instruct the groups that they are to act as a group of friends who do not include new people. Have them stand in a tight circle with their arms on each others’ shoulders. The “outsider” will attempt to talk his/her way into the group. 3.Have the volunteers return to the room. Instruct to attempt join the circle of friends. They may use only words (any type of argument) not physical force to get back in the group. Role Play A: Instruct the circle of participants to keep their backs to the outsider and to be exclusive- to keep him/her outside. After the role play, lead participants into a discussion of what happened. Discussion Questions 1.Does this happen in real life? Where do you see it happen? 2.How many of you have ever had the experience of feeling excluded from a group? 3.What feelings do you remember having when you have been excluded? 4.How might if affect someone to have several experiences in a row of being excluded? How might it affect someone to have daily experiences of being excluded? 5.What are some of the reasons people discriminate against other people? Role Play B Instruct the circle of participants to let the “outsider” inside. Tell them to put their arms on this person’s shoulders too, but then ignore the person. Speak to everyone else and change the topic when the “outsider” tries to speak. After the role play, lead participants into a discussion of what happened. Discussion Questions 1.How does this role play differ from our first one? 2.Ask the ”outsider,” Did you like this role play better or worse than the last one? 3.Does it happen in real life that people sometimes pretend to accept someone? 4.How do you feel about someone being treated this way? 5.Did you prefer the first role play or the second? Role Play C Instruct the circle of friends to genuinely include the “outsider”, to make the person feel welcome. After the role play, lead participants into a discussion of what happened. Discussion Questions 1.Ask the “outsiders,” How did you feel this time? 2.Do you think these role playing situations were similar to real-life situations? The Label game © 2000 Franklin Covey Co. (Adapted by Amy Selders) To prepare for this activity you will need to make labels. Prepare the labels, making sure there is one label for each person in the group (labels listed below). Apply double-sided tape to the back of each label. If you have a large group, you should break them into 8 or less. Before you begin the activity, explain that the purpose of the activity is to write an advertisement or jingle for Sonic Burgers. Right before you are about to start, explain that you forgot something. Then, apply the labels randomly on the foreheads of all of the youth. It is very important that the youth do not know what their labels say. After everyone has a label, then give them 10 minutes to attempt to come up with a jingle, interacting with each other according to their labels. They will be so busy ignoring each other, treating each other poorly, and fearful of one another that they will accomplish nothing. Allow them to first guess their label and then remove it. Allow time for the youth participants to discuss their experiences afterward. Labels: Ignore me completely Treat me like I am stupid Laugh at all of my ideas Help me out You are afraid of me Act like you can’t hear me Treat me like I’m dirt Like all of my ideas Follow my lead Listen to every word I say Stare at me I have a mean temper Hurt my feelings Tell me how great I am Ask me to repeat myself I always get my way Ask me what I think Speak loud to me Speak slowly to me Treat me like I am sick Post Label Game Discussion Questions How many of you could identify what your label was without looking at it? Were you focusing on the label or your task (writing the jingle)? How useful are the jingles you created? Ask this question to illustrate how labels, racism, ableism, and stereotyping of any kind can get in the way of all daily functions at school, on the job, at home, etc. If the label was your focus, why was it? Was your job unimportant? This will get the youth participants to examine why they thought the label would be the most important part of the exercise. They were instructed to come up with a jingle, yet they focused on the labels. This question will help them to examine their own biases. Was it frustrating or upsetting when you had something to say and people treated you badly for no apparent reason? Revealing how this activity made them feel personally will open the door for a conversation about understanding what other people go through on a daily basis (i.e. you are afraid of me = someone with epilepsy, I have a bad temper = someone with a mental health disability, treat me like I am stupid = someone with a learning disability, yell at me = someone who is deaf, etc.) Have you ever experienced any of the negative labels that some of us wore tonight? If you did, why do you think other people made you feel that way? There are two big reasons why people make us feel this way. The first is they do not know any better, or they are ignorant. They know nothing or very little about people with disabilities and do not accept anyone who is not just like them. The second is because we let them make us feel bad! Respect yourself and have pride in yourself, DISABILITY PRIDE! A lot of non-disabled people treat us like we are stupid, ignore us, treat us like dirt, hurt our feelings, stare at us, etc. for a number of reasons. What are some of them? Stereotypes, fear of what is unfamiliar, etc. They should be able to give good answers to this question since this activity will be during the session on stereotypes and the movies. One of us wore the label, “I have a mean temper.” Why do you think we had that one? Many people with mental health disabilities are feared because their disability is not understood. Many people are afraid that anyone with a mental health disability can and will become violent at anytime. This is obviously not true. What about the labels, “I always get my way,” and, “Listen to every word I say”? Do any of you ever think that you get to do things or get away with things that your non-disabled brothers and sisters don’t? If you do get away with things that your non-disabled brother or sister don’t, think about why that might be. Do you use your disability to get what you want? Do not answer that now- just think about it. But remember this: for decades, disability activists have been fighting for EQUAL treatment, not SPECIAL treatment. Use your POWER wisely. Some Back Ground Information: The History of Labels "Label Jars, Not People"- this slogan is often used by advocacy groups. But why are there labels in the first place? And where did they come from? Defining Labels According to the dictionary, a label is a "Slip of paper for attaching to an object," but also a "Short classifying phrase or name applied to persons." When you label someone, you put that person in a group of other people with the same label. The group with the label can become more obvious than the individuals who share the label, and soon the label itself becomes more obvious than the individuals or even the group. Other people don't see the individual, just the label. Labels have always been used to describe or categorize people but for people labeled as having an intellectual disability, they became especially important (and more common) about two hundred years ago. Before then, people were rarely "officially" labeled as having an intellectual disability, except in court cases. Nicknames and Individuals Before that, labels were often just like nicknames. If you were tall and skinny and your name was John, you might get called "Long John." If you were large and named Tim, you might get called "Big Tim," or you might be called "Tiny" (because people would find that nickname funny). If you worked as a blacksmith, you might be nicknamed "Blackie", and everybody would call you by that nickname. Your friends might never use your "real" name - they might not even know it. And if you learned slowly and your name was Simon, you might get called "Simple Simon" - just like in the rhyme. But if your favorite color were green, you might also be nicknamed "Green Simon." These names are not really labels, because the person is not put into a group. The nickname describes one characteristic, one part, of the person but still lets other people know that there is an individual person behind the name. Also, some of these nicknames had positive sides to them. Terms to describe what is now called intellectual disability included "silly," and "natural" - but "silly" meant "fullness of soul," and "natural" meant that one was less "corrupted" by civilization and was closer to God (see Religion & Folktales). These labels may have been limiting, but they were not completely negative or insulting terms. Nicknames, Labels and Bureaucracy Nicknames that everybody would use for someone, and that might last a person's lifetime, became less common in the nineteenth century for many reasons. The main reason was because society became more bureaucratic and there were more records of people being kept. For instance, if everyone went to school and the school board wanted to keep records, they would use proper names rather than nicknames. The same thing would happen if someone was working for a big company (which became more likely in the nineteenth century, during and after the Industrial Revolution; there were not very many big companies before then). So nicknames became less popular. Instead, because people were being placed into groups for bureaucracies, they were labeled. These labels could be for anything: to show what kind of work you did, what class you belonged to, or even how quickly you learned. Labels and Groups Labels are different from nicknames because they put people into groups with names. When a person is seen as their “label” and not who they are as an individual we are less likely to value and include them. Labels And Ideology "Ideology" refers to the ideas and assumptions that make up the way people see the world. They may not understand the ideology, or they may, but it is there and it shapes their world. Labels are signs of different ideologies, or ways of seeing the world. Some labels come with lots of stereotyped assumptions. They are likely to make us think of what a person cannot do rather than of what a person can do. Labels often reflect the beliefs of the people who are giving the labels. These beliefs often are not just connected to ideas about intelligence, or physical ability, but about many other things - religion, race, sexual orientation, or social class, for instance. Changing Labels The phrase, "People with a disability", is a "People First" label because it puts the person before the label. The phrase, "people who have been labeled as having a disability", not only puts the person first, it also points out how labeling works. The debate about labeling always comes down to two opposing points: Labels harm people because they keep others from seeing the person behind the label, and they limit our belief in what that person can do.   Labels are needed because they identify people who need extra help so that these people will be able to get extra services (like community living support, for instance) that they need to survive. The challenge is to find a way of supporting people without covering their identity with labels Decorating Your Bag of Individuality Each participant decorates a bag to express their unique leadership style, talents, and skills. Upon completion, each participant writes their goal for WE LEAD on a piece of paper and their goal for five years from now on a different piece of paper. Participants then form two circles. They are instructed to share their bags and their goals without staff facilitation. When the groups are finished sharing ask them to discuss the question: How will learning leadership skills help you accomplish these goals? Bring all into the large group and share what they learned (about each other, how leadership will help them, or anything else they discussed.) Compile the list of goals on a flip chart and post. Instruct the youth to place their written goals into their bags, hang bags on the wall. Materials: Paper bag Magazines Markers Glue Random objects to decorate bags How Teams Succeed or Fail Teams that succeed have these characteristics: Members depend on, trust, and help each other. Members each do their share. Members work together. They cooperate – rather than compete – with each other. Members talk about how the team is doing. They communicate openly and honestly. Teams that fail have the following characteristics: Members boss each other around. Members gossip about each other. Members are not truthful with each other. Members ignore problems. Members make fun of other members, their work or their ideas. Members don’t listen to each other. Members try to do everything as individuals. Leadership Characteristics Activity Created by Amy Selders The purpose of this activity is to boost the youth participants’ confidence in their own ability as advocates and organizers. We can give them praise and compliments regularly, but it can be just as, if not more meaningful, coming from a peer. PRIOR TO THE SESSION Put the leadership characteristics on one side of the cardstock. On the reverse side, print the definition of the characteristic. Also write the characteristics on your flip chart. DURING THE SESSION Have all of the youth participants choose a partner. Once everyone is paired up, read through all of the leadership characteristics and the definitions together. By now, the youth should be familiar with the terms since you will have used them throughout the sessions. After reading through the characteristics, ask the youth participants to go over them once more on their own and choose one characteristic that stands out in their minds when they think of their partner. Give them about 10 minutes to choose their characteristic. Ask the youth to form two lines. Each partner should be facing each other. This part of the activity is an exercise in following directions, or followship. Going down the line, each youth should share with everyone the characteristic that they feel their partner possesses. They should also explain how that characteristic could be an attribute in their/their partner’s advocacy endeavors (using the descriptions provided for assistance, if necessary). Post Leadership Characteristics Activity Discussion Questions Did you ever think of yourself as having this characteristic? This question might prompt them to look at themselves in a different light. Now that your partner said that he/she sees this in you, do you think you can see it in yourself, too? Sometimes it takes other people seeing or saying positive things to validate us. Disabled youth with low self-esteem are no different. Did this activity require you to really examine your partner’s good qualities in a way you had not done before? If so, do you now have more respect for this person? Sometimes we really do not pay attention to what people have to offer. We overlook people’s good qualities for various reasons. This question will help the youth to acknowledge the importance of recognizing what everyone has to offer. Do you feel differently about yourself and your abilities as a future leader? Again, this is another question designed to encourage them to consider their endless potential to lead within our movement. Are there any characteristics that we talked about today that you think you would like to work on to become a better leader? We all have leadership characteristics that we can improve upon. If anyone says, “no,” then remind him/her they can work on “Humility.” LEADERSHIP CHARACTERISTICS Charisma Competence Approachability Clarity Decisiveness Humility Direction Conviction Knowledge Discipline CHARISMA To have charisma means that you are likeable; you have personality, appeal and magnetism! COMPETENCE To have competence means that you demonstrate both knowledge and skill in your area of expertise! When you, as a leader, are competent, you gain the reputation in the community as a resource on your issue. Also, you are confident in your knowledge and expertise to the point that you are at ease with talking to the media, at public meetings, or expressing your views when confronted by the opposition. Competence implies that you too are a “go to” person; you are reliable, knowledgeable, and skillful. APPROACHABILITY To have approachability means that you have integrity, are truthful and honorable, and easily adapt to the styles of others. Most people feel comfortable with you! If you are honest, open, and easy to get along with, most people will find you to be someone they enjoy being around. If they enjoy being around you, then they will come to your meetings regularly and they will be more inclined to learn about the issues from you. In other words, they will follow your lead as the great LEADER that you are! CLARITY To have clarity means that you are able to communicate simply, clearly, and memorably! When you, as a leader, have clarity, you will be skillful at speaking at rallies, to the media, meeting with elected officials, writing press releases, and letters. Conveying your message to others is essential to effective advocacy and you have the capabilities to do this well! DECISIVENESS To be decisive means that you take responsibility for actions and decisions required! When you, as a leader, are decisive, you will be a “go to” person – someone who can think on the spot and be confident in their role. Decisiveness is important when you are in the strategic planning mode. Figuring out how you are going to attack an issue involves decision-making skills! Your leadership is needed here! HUMILITY To have humility means that your ego is under control. This is not to be confused with being timid. In other words, you believe in yourself, but you don’t have a big head and you appreciate the accomplishments of others! DIRECTION To have direction means that you have and express clear goals and a vision! When you, as a leader, have direction, you can help others to see your vision, advocacy mission, and recruit active members! Direction is vital to successful outcomes of all strategies. CONVICTION To have conviction means that you demonstrate perseverance, and display confidence in what you do and say! When you put your mind to something, it happens! When you, as a leader, have conviction you are committed to your issue and your strategy. You typically do not rest until your mission is complete! Leaders need conviction or real change will not occur. You believe in yourself, in your purpose and your power! KNOWLEDGE To have knowledge means that you effectively use the power that comes from understanding! When you, as a leader, are knowledgeable on your issue, you are not only familiar with your viewpoints, but with opposing viewpoints as well. You will be known as a resource and “authority figures” and other advocates will come to you for answers to their questions! DISCIPLINE To have discipline means that you consistently follow through as promised. If you commit to doing something you do it; you keep true to your word! When you, as a leader, have discipline, you are demonstrating to your followers that regardless of whether or not you win or loose a battle your commitment to an issue must remain strong. As a leader, you are a role model for your followers at all times. Working in Groups: Story # 1 The Star Thrower One day a man was walking the beach when he noticed a figure in the distance. As he got closer, he realized the figure was that of a boy picking something up and gently throwing it into the ocean. Approaching the boy, he asked, “What are you doing?” The youth replied, “Throwing a starfish into the ocean. The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don’t throw them back, they’ll die.” “Son,” the man said, “don’t you realize there are miles and miles of beach and hundreds of starfish? You can’t possibly make a difference!” After listening politely, the boy bent down, picked up another starfish, and threw it into the surf. Than smiling at the man, said, “I made a difference for that one.” (Adapted from the Star Thrower, by Loren Eiseley) Mine Field Goal: Traverse, with eyes closed or blindfolded, a designated area full of obstacles without touching any obstacle or any person. Time ~20 minutes to set up ~5-10 minutes to brief ~5 minutes planning/discussion ~15-30 minutes activity ~5-30 minutes debrief Set up: Set the clothes line rope on the floor in a circle and Distribute "mines" e.g., balls or other objects such as bowling pins, cones, foam noodles, etc. within the circle Directions: Establish a concentrating and caring tone for this activity. Trust exercises require a serious atmosphere to help develop a genuine sense of trust and safety. Participants can begin by trying to cross the field by themselves. In a second round, participants operate in pairs. One person is blind-folded (or keeps eyes closed) and (optional) cannot talk. The other person can see and talk, but cannot enter the field or touch the person. The challenge is for each blind-folded person to walk from one side of the field to the other, avoiding the mines, by listing to the verbal instructions of their partners. Be wary of blindfolded people bumping into each other. The instructor(s) can float around the playing area to help prevent collisions. Decide on the penalty for hitting a mine. It could be a restart (serious consequence) or time penalty or simply a count of hits, but without penalty. Allow participants a short period (e.g., 3 minutes) of planning time to decide on their communication commands. It can help participants if you suggest that they each develop a unique communication system. When participants swap roles, give participants some review and planning time to refine their communication method. Allow participants to swap over and even have several attempts, until a real, satisfied sense of skill and competence in being able to guide a partner through a minefield develops. (The activity can be conducted one pair at a time, or with all pairs at once - creates a more demanding exercise due to the extra noise/confusion. Variations Minefield in a Circle: Blindfolded people start on the outside of a large rope circle, go into middle, get an item ("treasure", e.g., a small ball or bean bag), then return to the outside; continue to see who can get the most objects within a time period. Discussion Questions On a scale from 1 – 10, how much did you trust your partner at the start? On a scale from 1 – 10,How much did you trust your partner at the end? What is the difference between going alone and being guided by another? What ingredients are needed when trusting and working with someone else? What did your partner do to help you feel safe and secure? What could your partner have done to help make you feel more safe/secure? What communication strategies worked best? Interview Sheet 1. Tell me something about yourself? 2. How many members in your family? 3. What pets do you have? 4. Where did you go to elementary school? 5. Are you a member of any teams, groups, or clubs? If so, which ones? 6. Are you involved in any volunteer activities? If so, which ones/ 7. What types of things do you like to do for fun? 8. Do you have a job? If so, what is it? 9. What are you plans for the year? 10. What would you like to do after high school? 11. What are some things that you are really good at? Find Someone Who… Please find other participants who are described in one or more blanks below. Have each person sign his/her name on the line next to the phrase that describes them. Try to get all the blanks filled in. 1. has canoed or gone boating in the past year:_________________________ 2. has never gone camping: ________________________________________ 3. comes from a family of more than four:______________________________ 4. has been in a talent show:________________________________________ 5. does not like ice cream:__________________________________________ 6. has a birthday in the same month as yours:___________________________ 7. has been to a concert within the last two months:_______________________ 8. has been to a concert within the last tow months:_______________________ 10. noticed that we skipped number 9:__________________________________ 11. likes to ski (water or snow)________________________________________ 12. knows the first name of the program leader___________________________ 13. is a member of a school club or organization:_________________________ 14. doesn’t wear a watch: ___________________________________________ 15. was born in a different state than you:_______________________________ 16. is afraid of heights:______________________________________________ 17. has taken an out-of-state vacation:_________________________________ 18. was (or is) a boy Scout / Girl Scout:_________________________________ 19. likes spinach:__________________________________________________ 20. attended a concert this year:______________________________________ Who’s Like You? Find a person who meets the following criteria for being “like you.” Try to find a different person to sign each line. 1. Who was born in the same moth as you: _____________________________ Month?__________________________ 2. Who has the same favorite color as you: _____________________________ Color?___________________________ 3. Who has the same color eyes as you:_______________________________ Color?__________________________ 4. Who has the same favorites TV show as you:_________________________ Show?__________________________ 5. Who has a hobby like yours:_______________________________________ Hobby?_________________________ 6. Who has the same favorite food as you:_____________________________ Food?__________________________ 7. Who would do the same thing as you if you both received $100,000:________ What?__________________________ 8. Who has the same kind of pet as you:_______________________________ Pet?____________________________ Death in the Desert Game © Bendaly, L. Games Teams Play: Dynamic Activities for Tapping Work Team Potential. July 1, 1996: McGraw-Hill Trade. Adapted by Amy Selders GAME DESCRIPTION This is a team-building activity that will enhance the youth participant’s ability to work together and problem solve. It will encourage them to think “outside the box.” HOW TO PLAY THE GAME Divide the youth participants into groups of four or five. Tell the youth participants that you are going to give them a riddle to solve. The answer to the riddle will be given to one member of each group. The rest of the group members must discover the answer by asking questions that can only be answered with, “yes,” or, “no.” Take the designated group members aside and give them the answer. Explain that they do not have to remember the riddle since you will be telling it to the entire group. Also remind them that it is very important that they do not share the answer with the rest of their team, and only respond with a “yes” or “no” to their questions. Read the riddle to everyone in the room: “A man was found dead in the desert. Near him was a package. If he had opened the package, he would not have died. What was in the package?” Give the different groups 5 -10 minutes to ask questions. After time is up, see if any group guessed the answer. If not, share it with them: A parachute! Following this activity, facilitate a discussion using the questions provided. Post Death in the Desert Game Discussion Questions Was this difficult? If it was, what made it difficult? This will only give you an idea of their self-assessment. You will be able to tell for yourself if they are having difficulty. They will focus on the riddle itself, but you can pose the following questions about the process of problem solving. Keep in mind that problem solving is very important to organizing, and any activity such as this will help them to develop their problem solving skills. Were your ideas heard? At any point, did you loose track of a really good idea, an idea that had you on the right track? Talk about the importance of always recognizing the valuable contributions everyone makes and making note of all correct answers. This teaches the youth participants skills related to researching their issue. All good organizers need to be inquisitive and resourceful. Do you think your group made too many assumptions (e.g. the desert caused his death) or were you successful at clarifying information? Discuss how you could have prevented such assumptions. For example, the group could have asked more questions and not given up so easily, or the group could have examined every word of the riddle (i.e. the word “opened” is the key) for clues, etc. How can we take what we’ve learned about problem solving from this riddle and use it in our organizing efforts? We learned the importance of asking a lot of questions when researching an issue and asking our friends for help. We also learned that when reading something (i.e. a piece of legislation), it can be important to examine every word, and we may need to ask someone else if, when reading it, we see something we do not understand. In other words, we might need someone to clarify things for us, and “yes” or “no” answers might not work. How can we prevent our group from slipping into these same problems again (i.e. making assumptions, not listening, jumping from one idea to another without building, etc)? We can keep track of our ideas, make note of what we have learned from the questions we have asked, and listen to what other members of our group are saying instead of planning what we are going to say next, etc. Leadership Compass Just as each of us learns in different ways, each of us can lead in different ways. As our world and communities have changed, what we have learned is that the old school style of top down leadership simply doesn’t work in all situations. In many businesses, institutions, and communities, leadership has become more collaborative. To have an effective collaboration, you need to have people with a variety of skills. This variety creates the best whole. The goal of this module is to help your participants identify their leadership style and see what style of leadership their fellow council members lean towards. Activity: The Leadership Compass From: The Guide to Building effective participant Councils Goal: To help participant identify their leadership strengths and weaknesses and to see how the other participants compliment those strengths and weaknesses. Time: 1 hour Materials: A copy of each direction to post on the wall One copy of handout for each participant Plenty of space to break into the four directions Directions: On four areas of your room, post the four directions – North, East, South, and West – you can copy the included examples. Provide each participant with the handouts that describe the work and the leadership traits of the four directions. Give them 5 to 10 minutes to reflect on the directions and then rank them, number 1 being most like them and number 4 being least like them. Once they have all completed that step, have them go to whichever direction they think their number one is. In those groups, have them discuss why thy felt they were a good match for this direction. Have them identify common strengths and weaknesses of their direction. Staying in their group, ask for volunteers to share some of what was discussed or insights that people gained. Now ask the participants to go to the direction they ranked as their number 4, the lest like them. Repeat the above process. Come back as a large group and provide participants with the following handouts: Pitfalls When Styles and Taken to Excess and Suggestions on Working With a… As a group discuss where your strengths and weaknesses lie and how as a group you will deal with these. East/Eagle Visionary who sees the big picture Very idea oriented, focus on future thought Insight into – mission and purpose Develops solutions creatively Looks for overarching themes, ideas Likes to experiment, explore Strong spiritual awareness – attitude to “higher level” Appreciate a lot of information Divergent thinker Value Words: “option, possibility” Roles: Big Picture Thinker and Visionary West Bear Seen as practical, dependable, and through in task situation Helpful to others by providing planning and resources Moves carefully and follows procedures and guidelines Uses data analysis and logic to make decisions Weighs all sides of an issue, balanced Introsp0ective, self-analytical Careful, thoroughly examines people’s needs in situation Works well with existing resources Keeper of traditions Ski8lled at finding fatal flaws in an idea or project Value Word: “objective” Roles: Evaluator and Follow-up North Buffalo Assertive, active, decisive Likes to be in control of relationship and determine events Quick to act, expresses sense of urgency for others to act Enjoys challenges and challenges others Thinks in terms of bottom line Likes quick pace and fast track Courageous Perseveres, not stopped by hearing “no,” risk taker Likes variety, novelty, new projects Comfortable with being in front Good motivator of others Value Words: action oriented phrases: “Do it now, “ “I’ll do it,” “What’s the bottom line?” Roles: Leader and Driver South Deer Allows others to feel important Value driven regarding aspects of professional life Establishes relationship to accomplish tasks Interaction is primary Concerned with process Supportive, nurturing to colleagues and peers Willingness to trust others’ statements at face value Feeling-based, trusts own emotions and intuition Team player, receptive to other’s ides, builds on ideas of others, noncompetitive Able to focus on present moment Concerned with creating a positive environment Value words: “right, fair” Roles: Relationships and Process North Buffalo South/Deer West/Bear East/Eagle Leadership Compass: Pitfalls When Styles are Taken to Excess West/Bear Can be bogged down by information, analysis paralysis Can become stubborn and entrenched in position Can be indecisive, collect unnecessary data, mired in detail May appear cold and withdrawn, with respect to others’ working styles Tendency towards watchfulness, observation Can remain withdrawn, distant Resists emotional pleas and change North/Buffalo Can be bogged down by need to press ahead and decide Seem to not care about process Can get defensive quickly, argue, try to out expert you Can loose patience, pushes for decisions before its time May get autocratic, want things their way, plow over people in decision making process May go beyond limits, gets impulsive and disregard practical issues Sees in terms of black and white, little tolerance for ambiguity Not heedful of others’ feeling, may be perceived as cold South/Deer Can be bogged down when believes relationship and needs of people are being compromised Has trouble saying “no” to requests Internalizes difficulty and assume blame Prone to disappointment when relaitonsp is seen as secondary task Difficulty confronting and dealing with anger, may be manipulated by anger Easily taken advantage of Immersed in present, looses tract of time Immersed in NOW, man not see long-range view East/Eagle Can be bogged down by lack of vision or too much emphasis on vision Can lose focus on tasks Poor follow through on projects May become easily overwhelmed Not time-bound, may lose track of time Tends to be highly enthusiastic early on, then burnout over the long haul Can develop a reputation of lack of dependability Leadership Compass: Suggestions on Working with A… West/Bear Allow plenty of time for decision making Provide objective facts and figures a person can trust Don’t be put off by critical “no” statements Minimize expression of emotion, use logic when possible Appeal to tradition, sense of history, correct procedure North/Buffalo Present your case quickly, clearly and with enthusiastic confidence Let them know how they will be involved – their pay off and their role Focus ont eh “challenge’ of the task Provide plenty of autonomy When establishing timelines, stick with them Give positive public recognition Use them in tasks requiring motivation, persuasion, and initiative South/Deer Remember process, attention to what is happening in the relationship ,feelings between you right now, is of primary importance Needs to feel decisions are ethically right- justify decision around values, ethics, the ritghtr5 things to do Appeal to relationships between you and this person, this person and others Listen hard and allow the expression of feeling and intuition in logical arguments Easily steamrolled, beware this person may have a hard time saying “no” to you Provide plenty of positive reassurance Let this person know you like them personally and appreciate them East/Eagle Show appreciation and enthusiasm for ideas Listen and be patient during idea generation Avoid critical, judging statements of ideas Allow and support divergent thinking Provide a variety of tasks Provide help and supervision checkpoints on detail and project follow-through Communication Introduce the lesson by defining and discussing effective communication. Describe effective communication as one person clearly conveying an intended message to another person. Ask participants what they think this means, and how they know is they have been effective in communicating a message to another person. As participants answer, list their response for all to see. Explain that there are two parts to communication: Expressing and Receiving. Expressing involves sending a message to another. Some of the ways it is done are through talking, signing, writing, and using a communication device (communication board, speech synthesizer). The purpose is for another person to receive and understand the message. Receiving involves getting and understanding the message another person is sending. Some of the ways this is accomplished are by listening to spoken words, reading written communication, reading sign language, and reading the message displayed on a communication device such as a Touch Talker. The goal is to receive and understand the message sent by another person. Explain that there are verbal and non-verbal aspects of both expressive and receptive communication. For example, most people use hand gestures and facial expressions as they speak. These provide additional information that helps listeners understand and interpret messages. Much of the time we do not effectively communicate with each other. This happens because the speaker is not sending a clear message, or the listener is not really listening, or both. This is one of the major reason people get into conflicts and have a hard time cooperating on activities. To effectively communicate requires learning and using listening skills, non-verbal communication skills, and verbal communication skills. Discuss the fact that one of the most important aspects of the effective communications is listening. Have participants fill out Blocks to Communication and Trust Building (Handout) Discuss their responses. Possible discussion questions are: What are the three most often chosen blocks? Why do you feel they are the most important? How might you improve in those areas? To illustrate what happens when someone is not listening, complete Listening Exercise #1, role played in pairs: Explain that the purpose of this exercise is not to listen to the other person, and to concentrate on getting your point of view across as quickly as possible. Break the group into pairs. From Listening Exercise #1 Role Play Descriptions (handout) give one participant in each pair a slip of paper describing the situation for the person who needs an air conditioner repaired; give the other participant a slip of paper describing the situation for the plumbing and heating employee. Give the pairs about 2 minutes to study their roles and to decide what they are going to say. Have all the participants begin at the same time, and allow them to interact for about 4 minutes before you stop them. Be sure that participants in each pair are not listening to one another. Following the role play, bring the class back together as a large group to identify some of the characteristics of not listening (loud voices, no eye contact) and how the pairs felt when they were not listened to (angry, frustrated, helpless, desperate). Discuss the importance of listening and how we tend to lose that skill as we get older; we tend to think of what we want to say next and we are feeling rather than listening. Using How to Be a Good Listener (handout) describes the following strategies to be a better listener: Block out distractions. Concentrate on what the other person is saying in spite of the background noise, uncomfortable seats, or preoccupation with your own thoughts. Think while you listen. Good listening requires much more than passively letting sound waves enter your ears. It requires active involvement, such as identifying the speaker's most important points and relating them to your own ideas and experiences. Avoid responding in a manner that closes communication. Examples of such responses are the following: -Evaluation: “Your wrong." -Advice: "Why don't you..." -Direction: "You have to.." -Moralizing: “You should..." -Discounting: "You think your problem is bad, you should hear about mine." - These responses make people feel defensive and put down. Let the speaker know you are still "with" him/her. You can do this by nodding, maintaining eye contact, not interrupting, and making sounds such as " uh huh." Ask questions that invite the speaker to say more. An example is, “What did it feel like for you to walk into that room full of strangers?" or " How did you get interested in that subject?" Restate the speaker’s words and feelings in your own words. An example is, " It sounds like you feel angry about missing the game," or " If I heard you right, you said you would rather not go to 'R' rated movies. Is that what you meant?" Respect the speaker's right to feel the way they feel and to think the way they think. This does not mean that you can't disagree. But it does mean that you should not put down, ridicule, berate, or belittle a person for thinking or feeling a certain way. Examples of disrespectful responses are, "That’s so stupid! How could you think that?" “You shouldn't feel that way," and, "Well, nobody else sees it that way so you must be wrong." Have participants practice listening. Pair participants and ask each member of the pair to take a turn being a listener and a speaker in the following scenarios. - Scenario 1: The speaker describes something that he/she likes to do during free time at home. The listener will only use "passive" listening. This means the listener cannot ask questions, talk in any way, or encourage the speaker nonverbally (head nods) or verbally. - Scenario 2: The speaker will describe one of the most exciting things he/she has ever done. The listener will give verbal and nonverbal signs that he/she is listening (nodding, eye contact, not interrupting, encouraging utterances). -Scenario 3: The speaker with make and finish the statement, “My least favorite subject in school is _______." The listener will ask questions that expand the conversation by inviting the speaker to say more. - Scenario 4: The speaker will describe a situation about which he/she felt angry. The listener will mirror or restate the feelings and facts in what is being said (“It sounds like you felt..." and "If I heard you right, you said that...") After allowing about four minutes for each scenario, with each person taking the listener and speaker roles for each scenario, ask participants to pause and share with their partners their answers to the following questions: - When listening, what did it feel like to be listened to in the different ways you were instructed? - When speaking, what did it feel like to be listened to in the different ways? When did you feel most that you had the listener’s attention and were understood? Why? After completion of the last of the scenarios, bring the class back together as a large group and use the following questions to initiate a discussion of the impact on both the listener and speaker of the different strategies for active listening that they practice: - Did you notice any difference in how you felt about you interaction with your partner when active listening skills were being used? For example, was the conversation longer, more pleasant, more in depth? - What types of active listening strategies made speakers feel most understood and listened to when they were talking? - In what ways did the listeners encourage speakers to keep talking? - How often are active listening skills used by your friends, family members, and teachers? - Are there differences in how people from different cultural groups engage in active listening? - Are there differences in how females and males engage in active listening? Point out to participants that the manner in which one listens is a learned skill and so in influenced by social environment. - This means that persons from different cultures may engage in active listening (labeling feelings, paraphrasing, using body language etc.) in a somewhat different manner than individuals from other cultures. - It also means that because girls and boys are taught to behave differently in many ways, it is also possible that persons of one gender may listen differently than persons of another gender. Persons with disabilities may demonstrate active listening in a somewhat different manner then persons without disabilities or persons with disabilities. - An individual with cerebral palsy who is physically unable to maintain eye contact may signal a speaker that he/she is attending to them by slumping in the chair or tilting his/her head in a certain direction. - A person who uses a communication board may encourage a speaker to continue talking by pointing at a specific symbol on the board rather than using traditional "uh-huh" - An individual with autism who is uncomfortable with sustained eye contact my indicate interest in an interaction through focusing his/her gaze on another part of the face. Ask participants to identify other ways that persons who might not be able to use more traditional active listening behaviors could demonstrate their interest and attention in a conversation. As participants respond, list their responses for all to see and use these as a basis for a discussion of the need for all individuals to appreciate the subtle differences in listening styles used by different persons. Make sure the following points are covered in your discussion: - The manner in which different persons with and without disabilities communicate that they are paying attention to a speaker is quite individual and based not just on the nature and severity of their disability, but also upon their personality, cultural background, and personal preferences. - It is important for speakers to not make assumptions about the extent to which a person is engaged in active listening if they do not know the individual or the behaviors they engage in when actively listening. - In some situations, communication can be greatly improved by educating other person (teachers, fellow participant) about how an individual with a disability demonstrates interest and attention during a conversation, or encouraging the person with a disability to do these them selves. Introduce participants to the concept of non-verbal communication through playing a game of charades. Pair participants together with their partner and inform the class that they are going to play a game of charades. Inquire as to whether participants have ever played the game and, if the majority have not, provide then with an overview of the game. The categories to be used are name of a TV show, name of a movie, name of a musical group, and name of a song. It may be beneficial to demonstrate how one might play the game. Demonstrate for a sufficient length of time so that all class members who will be playing the game understand the basic concept. Explain to the class that in playing this game of charades, with partners go through the following steps: Spend a short period of time selecting which category-TV show, movie, musical group, or song-they want to use. Choose a title or name from within that category (the title of a specific movie, tv show, etc) to non verbally present to the rest of the class. Decide how, as a team, the two of them will non-verbally act out the title for the class. They will have 3 minutes to act out their title. Provide partners with approximately 5-10 minutes to make their decision and decide upon a strategy. Move around the class as necessary and provide support to participants who are having a difficult time developing plans that will involve both participants in the pair. Bring the class back together as a large group. Remind them that each set of partners will have 3 minutes to present their non-verbal communication to the class, and that the class will “read” the non-verbal communication of the presenting partners and guess what it is they are trying to communicate to them. After the last pair of partners has finished, have the participants discuss their experiences from the perspectives of both “speakers” and “listeners”. Suggested questions to use in facilitating the discussion include: How easy or difficult did you find it to communicate non-verbally with other? What did you learn about your ability to use non-verbal communication skills through playing charades? How easy or difficult did listeners find it to accurately read the non-verbal communication of others? Discuss the importance of non-verbal communication. Point out to the participants that when we are trying to convey a message to another person and when we are listening to a message someone else is trying to send us, non-verbal communication- or the messages that we convey to others without using words- is often as important as the content of what is said. Define non-verbal communication as the messages we sent to others that do not involve words. Often these messages communicate something about the feelings of the person. Note that while there are formal systems of non-verbal communication, such as American Sign Language, here we are talking about the informal systems- such as gestures and facial expressions-that express feelings and attitudes, and that expand upon a verbal message. Ask participants to develop a list of ways that people send messages with their bodies without using words. As the class responds, write their answers for all to see. Make sure that, at a minimum, for the following types of non-verbal communication are included on the list: eye contact (or a lack thereof) facial expressions gestures touch physical closeness tone of voice As each form of non-verbal communication is discusses, ask participants to identify what type of information is typically conveyed by that form (facial expressions are typically used to convey feelings, hand gestures are used to reinforce a point the speaker is trying to make, etc) Reinforce the idea that non-verbal communication is an important aspect of communication that muse be paid attention to not only by the listener but by the speaker as well. Speakers must attend what they are communicating non-verbally as well as with words. In addition, monitoring the non-verbal behavior of listeners provide speakers with information as to whether they are being adequately understood and how people are reacting to what they are saying. Through paying attention to the non-verbal behavior of speakers, listeners can gain information about the speaker’s emotion, attitudes, and intentions. Explore the connection between non-verbal behavior and feelings/emotion. Inform participants that non-verbal communication is one of the primary ways that people convey the feeling or emotion behind a message. Provide the following examples that participants might experience in their personal lives: A mother increasing the volume of her voice when her child talks back to her. A teacher raising the tone of his voice the fourth time he has to ask a participant to stop engaging in a disruptive behavior. A friend displaying a slight frown while at the same time telling you that he/she would be thrilled to go with you to the movie you just suggested. Point out to participants that the easiest way to enhance their ability to accurately read the non-verbal communication of others is to practice. Have participants divide into pairs or groups of three. Distribute Expressions of Emotion (handout). Ask each small group to identify five or six feelings/emotions. Then ask them to select three of those feelings to use in completing Expressions of Emotions (handout) Using those three feelings, they are to brainstorm to come up with as many cues as possible that would indicate a person is experiencing each of those emotions. The cues should include verbal (words, tone of voice, volume of voice) and nonverbal (facial expression and posture) After they have completed the worksheet, ask the small groups to discuss the following: Which feelings or emotions do you think are easiest to recognize in others? Which are most difficult? Have participants practice identifying feelings through observing non-verbal behavior. Have participants remain in small groups. Distribute Practice in Non-verbal Communication (handout) Direct participants to take turns selecting a feeling/emotion listed on the handout and then non-verbally communicate it to others in the group. Have those participants who are not communicating the emotion “read” the non-verbal cues presented to them and identify the feeling. Allow approximately one minute for each participant to communicate a feelings non-verbally. If group members have not been able to guess the feeling within this period of time, have them verbally communicate the feeling they are attempting to express and move on to the next participant. Provide sufficient time so that each participant is given the opportunity to communicate a minimum of two different types of feelings. Bring the class back together as a large group and discuss the exercise. Possible discussion questions include: How accurately and completely were people able to communicate their feelings/emotions? Which feelings were easiest to communicate? Why? Which forms of non-verbal behavior (facial expressions, gestures, tone of voice, etc) appear to be the most accurate communicators of feelings/emotions? Point out to the participants that just as persons without disabilities use non-verbal communication, so do individuals with disabilities. In fact, for some persons with disabilities, this may be the primary way in which they communicate. Discuss with participants the challenges that persons with disabilities who communicate solely in a non-verbal manner are likely to face. Make sure to include the following points in your discussion: Many individuals do not even pay attention to or notice the attempts of others to communicate non-verbally. It is much easier to someone’s attention verbally. Many persons are not able to accurately read non-verbal communication even when they are aware the it’s being used to convey a message. Others may misinterpret the message one is attempting to send. Non-verbal communication may convey some parts of a message (feelings) well, but it much more difficult to use to convey the content of a message unless it is part of a formal system of communication ( American Sign Language). Point out that because of all the reasons discussed, it is extremely important to double check with the speaker as to the intent of his/her non-verbal as well as verbal messages. Introduce the topic of verbal communication by reminding participants that effective communication consists of three components: listening, non-verbal communication, and verbal communication. Point out that participants can improve their ability to verbally communicate with others through the use of “I” statements. Four examples of “I” statements are “ I want to go home now”, “I feel hungry,” “I think that was a stupid movie,” and “I need to go more slowly.” Define the concept of “I” statements for participants focusing on the following points: “I” statements are honest descriptions of what one wants, feels, thinks or needs. The use of “I” statements ensures that individuals take personal responsibility for their own feelings, thoughts, actions, and reactions to what others have said or done. “I” messages ( “I feel hurt because..”) as opposed to “you” messages ( You made me feel hurt..”) help avoid conflict because they are non-blaming. The use of “I” messages helps increase the understanding and trust that can develop through communication between individuals. Inform participants that “I” messages come in many forms. What all “I” statements have in common is that they: Start with the word “I” or the individual in some other way taking ownership of what is going to follow. Clearly describe what the speaker is thinking, feeling, needing, or wanting. Provide the listener with information as to “why” the speaker is reacting in the manner they are. Distribute How to Develop “I” Messages (handout) and discuss how participants can use the phrases provided to construct “I” statements of their own. Provide the following examples of each type of “I” message to insure participants understand: I feel hurt when you don’t return my telephone calls because I really value you as a friend. I feel fortunate to have you as a friend when you listen to how I feel because you really seem to understand me. I think something horrible might have happened to you when you don’t come home on time because you know that 12:00 am is a curfew everyone in our family agreed to honor. I think it’s terrible when you male fun of others because they are different than you. I want you to consider changing what you’re planning to serve for lunch because I am a vegetarian. I want you to take out the garbage because you agrees to take care of that chore. I need you to explain that to me again because the first time you explained it you did it in a way that I did not understand. I need to know whether or not you’re going to come with me to the movies because if you are not. I’ll call someone else. Ask participants to work in pairs, with each participant completing the “I” statements on How to Develop “I” messages (handout) Suggest that in completing the statements. They think about real life situations they will be in this week and the “I” statements they would like to make in those situations. Ask participants to share their statements within their pairs, and if necessary assist each other in formulating “I” statements that follow the model given ( stating one’s own wants, feelings, thoughts, and needs). When all have had a chance to complete their statements, invite participants to share some of their statements with the class. Discuss how to reword any statements that are not true “I” statements. Have participants practice changing “you” messages into “I” messages. Explain to participants that in many situations in which a conflict occurs, people tend to use “you” messages rather then “I” messages in describing the conflict. The use of “you” messages makes most listeners feel blamed. This often results in the listener feeling defensive, angry, ashamed, or hurt. These feelings can interfere with resolving the conflict. Being able to develop “I” messages is, therefore, an extremely important communication skill for respectful, open communication and for dealing with conflicts. Form small groups of 3 or 4 participants and distribute “You” and “I” messages (handout) to each participant. Ask one participant in each group to serve as the group’s recorder. Explain to participants that their task is to read each of the situations on the worksheet and brainstorm to develop “I” messages that would be appropriate to the situation. Demonstrate by using the example provided on the worksheet, turning it into an “I” message. Allow groups 10-15 minutes to complete the assigned task. Bring the class back together as a large group. Use the following questions to initiate a discussion about the everyday use of these types of messages: How hard or easy was it to change “you” messages into “I” messages? What type of messages are likely to result in a conversation being cut short because one person gets angry or upset? Why do you think it’s important to include information about one’s feelings in “I” messages and how might this help people to resolve an issue? Why might the use of “I” messages help people to resolve conflicts? Who do you know personally who is good at using “I” statements? What types of feelings do you experience after interacting with this person as opposed to individuals who do not use these types of statements? Define and discuss three styles of communication: passive, assertive, and aggressive. Write definitions of the terms passive, assertive, and aggressive communication for all to see. Base your definitions on the following: Passive communication occurs when a person expressed his or her thoughts in a direct and honest manner. Assertive individuals stand up for their rights and beliefs while being respectful of the rights and beliefs of others. Aggressive communication occurs when a person is not respectful of others’ feelings and opinions. Aggressive individuals stand up for what they want in a pushy or angry way. Have participants practice identifying the differences between the 3 types of communication. Distribute to each participant a slip of paper from Passive, Assertive, and Aggressive Scenario Descriptions (handout) containing a short phrase representing one of the 3 types of communication. Ask participants to write their names on their paper. Write the headings Passive, Assertive, and Aggressive for all to see. Have each participant determine whether their phrase represents a passive, assertive or aggressive communication style, and tape their phrase under the appropriate heading. Review the headings under which participants have places their phrases. As each statement is discussed, ask that the participant who places it there explain why that heading was selected. Ask other members of the class if they agree or disagree with the placement and. When appropriate, inquire as to alternative headings under which the phrase could be placed. If necessary, clarify the style of communication illustrated by each phrase. Role-play situations demonstrating passive, assertive and aggressive communication. Ask two participants to volunteer to role play a passive communication scenario between a teacher and a participant. Assign one participant the role of “participant” and the other the role of “teacher”. Explain the scenario: The teacher gives the participant an “F” on an assignment because, according to the teacher, the participant never turned it in. The participant did complete the assignment and turned it in on time. The participant has scheduled a meeting with the teacher to talk about the situation. Request that the individual playing the role of “participant” assume a passive communication style during the meeting. Request that the person playing the teacher behave in a manner typical of most teachers. Blocks to Communication and Trust-Building Poor communication and a lack of trust are often the result of a combination of factors. The following lists some of those factors. Please check the five (5) factors in the list below that you believe are the most serious blocks to communication and trust building. If you think of something important that is not on the list, please add it. 1.Cultural differences between the speaker and listener. 2.The speaker and listener have different beliefs. 3.The listener does not agree with what is being said. 4.The speaker or listener is preoccupied. 5.The speaker or listener has very different vocabularies and jargon. 6.The speaker is unintentionally unable to say what he/she means. 7.The speaker has little knowledge of the subject. 8.There are economic and/or class differences between the speaker and listener. 9.The listener is not interested in what the speaker is saying. 10.There are status differences (teacher / participant, leader / member) between the speaker and listener. 11.There are negative feelings between the speaker and listener. 12.Either the speaker or listener tends to always agree with everyone. 13.The speaker is unintentionally miscommunication. 14.Some sort of interference or distraction exists. 15.Time pressers exist. 16.The message being communicated is complex. 17.The same words have different meanings to the speaker and listener. 18.The speaker and listener belong to different ethnic groups. 19.The speaker and listener are different ages. 20.The speaker and listener have great differences in life experiences and educational backgrounds. 21.The speaker and listener have different goals, objectives, and agendas. 22.________________________________ (Any others?) Listening Exercise # 1: Role Play Descriptions Person # 1 HOT AIR - The Person Who Needs the Air Conditioner Repaired You have just moved into your new home and you are trying to unpack your household goods when you discover that your air conditioner does not work. You have driven your car to the A-1 Plumbing and Heating Company to get some help. You do not know anyone else in town and you mist have someone come and fix the air conditioner as the weather report states that it will be 104 degrees this afternoon., You do not know anything about air conditioners, but you are sure this is a simple problem that any repair shop should be able to fix Remember that the object of this exercise is TO NOT LISTEN to the other person. Person # 2 BLOWING STEAM – The Plumbing & Heating Employee You work for the A-1 Plumbing & Heating Company. Your job is very specialized; in fact you only know about fixing water heaters. You have been left in charge of the store for the day. You already have had two calls from people who have problems with their air conditioners. You have decided that the next person who comes in with an air conditioning problem must be made to understand that you know nothing about air conditioners and you will absolutely refuse to give them any advice about their problem. They must understand that you cannot help them in any way. Remember that the object of this exercise is TO NOT LISTEN to the other person How to Be a Good Listener Block out distractions. Concentrate on what the other person is saying in spite of background noise, uncomfortable seats, or preoccupation with your own thoughts. Think while you listen. God listening requir4es much more than passively letting sound waives enter your ears. It requires active involvement, such as identifying the speaker’s most important points and relating them to your own ideas and experiences. Avoid responding in a manner that closes communication. Examples of such responses are: evaluation (“you’re wrong”); advice (“why don’t you”); direction (“you have to’);’ moralizing (“You should”), and discounting (“you think your problem is bad, you should hear about mine”). These responses make people feel defensive and put down. Let the speaker know you are still “with” him/her. You can do this by nodding, maintaining eye contact, not interruption, and making sounds such as “huh.” Ask questions that invite the speaker to say more. An example is, “What did it feel like for you to walk into that room full of strangers?” or “How did you get interested in that subject?” Restate the speaker’s words and feelings in your own words. An example is, “It sounds like you feel angry about missing the game”, or “If I heard you right, you said that you would rather not go to “R” rated movies. Is that what you meant?” Respect the speaker’s right to feel the way they feel and to think the way they think. This does not mean that you can’t disagree. But, it does mean that your should not put down, ridicule, berate, or belittle a person for thinking for feeling a certain way. Examples of disrespectful responses are, “That‘s so stupid! How could you think that?” “You shouldn’t feel that way,” and “Well, nobody else sees it that way so you must be wrong.” Expressions of Emotions Exercise Identify five emotions and list them below: 1.__________ 2.__________ 3.__________ 4.__________ 5.__________ Pick three of the five emotions you listed and for each describe what a person would say and do that would let you know they are experiencing the feeling. #1___________ #2____________ #3___________ Describe the facial expressions that may express this emotion (for example, squinty eyes, puckered lips, raised eyebrows): Describe noises other than words that may express this emotin (for example, yawn, heavy sigh, giggle): Describe the body posture and gestures that may express this emotion (for example, standing with feet wide apart and both hands raised overhead, or slouched at desk with head in hand): Describe the words and tone of voice that may express this emotion (for example, “That’s dumb!” said with a loud, sharp words, or “That’s dumb” said with soft giggle): Practice in Non-verbal Communication Take turns communicating each of the feelings / emotions listed below to other members of your group without using words. You can use gestures, facial expressions, eye contact, and body position. 1.Frustration 2.Boredom 3.Happiness 4.Anger 5.Surprise 6.Fear 7.Stress 8.Disgust 9.Shame 10.Sadness / Sorrow 11.Guilt Amusement 12.Confusion / Bewilderment 13.Joy 14.Horror How to Develop “I” Messages Think abut situations you will be I during the next couple of weeks a way that you could use “I” statements in those situations. Finish each of the statements below using “I” messages you may want to actually use. 1.I feel __________when you __________ because ______________. 2.I feel __________ when you __________ because ______________. 3.I think __________ when you _____________ because __________. 4.I think __________ when you _____________ because ___________. 5.I want _______________________________ because____________. 6.I want _______________________________ because____________. 7.I need __________________________because __________________. 8.I need __________________________because __________________. “You” and “I’ Messages Develop one or more “I” statements that are appropriate for each of the situations described below. 1.Your best friend makes fun of some clothes you have just purchased and really like. 2.You lend your Discman (personal CD player) to a friend and later find that she has given it to someone else to use. 3.Your parents tell you that you cannot hang out with one of your friends from school because, “He’ll only get you into trouble.” 4.You go to your closet to get the tennis racket you just bought with your own money before you are to meet your friend for a game and find that your mother has allowed your sister to use it for the day. 5.Your best friend just drove 15 miles to pick you up and help you after your parent’s car broke down. 6.You are at a party and several people keep trying to get you to drink even though you do not want to. 7.Your are sitting on the bus and the person seated next to you makes an inappropriate comment about a person of color who ahs just gotten on board. 8.You meet your best friend after school and he / she looks extremely depressed. 9.You are meeting with your parents to discuss why you need to ask them to loan you $300 to repair you car. 10.You just heard that some of your classmates are telling your friends that the “real” reason you can’t see them over the weekend is that you don’t like them anymore. Passive, Assertive, and Aggressive Scenarios You shout and curse at someone who accidentally bumps you in the lunch line, causing you to drop your cup of soda. You forgot to meet a friend at a movie last week, and now you’re avoiding that person because you know he / she is angry. A teacher gives you an “F” on an assignment because, according to the teacher, you never turned it in. You did turn it in, and on time. You feel embarrassed when you complain about anything to anyone, so you just accept the “F” without talking to the teacher. You made the mistake of telling someone a secret that a friend told you. You go to your friend, tell him / her what you did, and apologize. A group of kids whom you recognize drives by as you walk home, and they shout insulting things at you. This has happened several times with the same kinds. You’re afraid and angry and hurt, but you tell not one about the incidents. When friends ask you what you’d like to do during your time together, you always say, “I don’t know. What do you want to do?” and then go along with whatever they suggest. The clerk in a fast food restaurant hands you a bag with the wrong food. You discover it as you’re about to leave, and you return to the counter with the food and say, “Excuse me. This isn’t what I ordered.” You’re biking and you ride by a girl who is fixing a flat tire on her bike. You stop and ask if she needs help. She says, “No, thanks. I can handle it.” You hang around and keep insisting that she let you help her. You walk out of a building behind a person in a wheelchair. You notice that the person is working very hard to maneuver the chair across a gravel parking lot. You walk up tto the persona, say “Her